Christmas a la Grinch?

              Christmas is near! Christmas is near!!
                       CHRISTMAS IS HERE!!!!
              Oh damn! Christmas is gone already :-(

                     What makes this holiday so great?
  

                                      
                                       Yes, the presents... 

 

     

                             Or the hope of getting them. 

    The infinite hope...He who has never hoped can never despair _Bernard Shaw

                                 The pleasure of giving...

google image

or the pleasure of seeing others give stuff... to you.

  

       The joy we see in others when we don't feel the same...

Or the joy we would like to crush in others when we don't feel the same

   

                The hope of being with our loved ones...

or being away from everyone

       
    The hope of having our families with us 
     and not kill each other...

                                               The tree...
                    That we bring into our homes...
only to throw it to the garbage few days later. That of course, unless we burn it or have pets...or both

    

                                       The light everywhere...
                                             Ooohh God!
  

                                          The culinary feast...

A ticket to a one night stay in the hospital

     The money we spend...or wish we had so we could spend...
  on presents for people we like or love and even
 people for which we're forced to buy something...ah! the eternal obligations 

                                     The Christmas movies...
If you live in the same country I do, you probably know the TV guide by heart since it's been the same for the last 5 or 6 years.

 The days spent away from work... Aaaahhhh total relaxation!

google image

 Well...at least for some, cause I was on duty. It was Bob's turn to have Kidzilla over for Christmas, so working from home this year didn't sound like such a bad idea.

   It did sound bad to my parents who acted as if they were visiting me in jail. They wanted to eat and leave the "crime scene" as soon as possible.
They did stay a while longer in the end. Why?
Since last year Bob kicked the KID out so he could come see the baby on Christmas day, this year I asked him to sort of return the favor - he brought Kidzilla over for a couple of hours so he would open the presents Santa left in mom's house.
      Lots of food and wine later (talking about me), both Kidzilla and my parents left, so it was just me and the KID. What to do...what to do...Playing doctor got us busy for a while ;-) 

    Later it was torture time for the KID cause I had him seeing some of my ...comfort movies. If you don't know what those are, this will give you some ideas. We finished the night with everyone's all time Christmas favorite: 

google image

                                 Happy holidays everyone!

 


 

 

HE

           As crazy as it seemed, he had left her. 

He had left her alone. Alone in that house that she had dreamed to build for them.

      Yes! Finally! He had finally got rid of the monster that showed no emotions...at least not the emotions he wanted or needed.

   He had been thinking about doing it so many times...He had tried so many times because he felt she didn't deserve his love. Each attempt had been ruined by one of them. Cause there was always one who convinced the other that their story wasn't finished yet. That there was much more love then met the eye.

But now he had done it.

He felt so proud. He felt he deserved a medal. He felt strong. He felt...nothing.

He knew she would try to call him, text him, beg him to come back, shed tears for him. 

But none of that mattered because HE felt he was right. 

was the victim.

was the one who wasn't loved enough.

was the one who had nothing.

 was the one who was always left aside.

was the one who made sacrifices.

was the one who constantly showed love.

was the one who had suffered from injustice.

 was always the one who loved more.

was the one who loved first.

And for that and much more felt he had to punish her.

He had always played these games ..these games that he loved so much. 

And she was always stupid and naive enough to believe them. And each time she fell for all the things he said.

Each time she believed he was right. 

She believed that she did not deserve his love.

She believed she would lose him.

And the thought of that was becoming more and more alive, more and more real. But still...she was fighting.

She was fighting for ...herself. 

She was fighting for...him.
She was fighting for that love: the love that doesn't require changes, but compromises. 

She was fighting to be loved just the way she was. And she would love back the same.

Cause she believed that true love doesn't ask you to change or alter who you are. 

was right.

was right.

- NO! I will not answer the phone! I will not fall for her lame excuses! I will not believe anything she says. I am right to walk away. I did everything and she did nothing.
   But he wanted to answer. He wanted to hear her voice. He wanted to be in her arms, feeling the warmth of her body, of her kiss, of her love. That was all he ever wanted. But he couldn't give in. He had gone so far. He would ruin everything if he answered that phone.

   

  She was starring at the phone waiting for something...a sign that he wanted to be there with her 

..that he wanted to be

She promised herself that she would try until midnight. She would try. 

She was startled at every car that passed by cause she thought it was him. 

She was dreaming about that: that she would go to sleep and he would come back...during the night. Because he loved her that much. Because she wanted him in her life that much. 

Because they could be great together.

Goodbye my lover, she said to herself hoping...

  

Ho Ho Ho

"All good relationships are boring, all the exciting relationships are the bad ones." _ Chris Rock

 If it's like that, then I must be in the most exciting relationship ever. Or, if I were to pay attention to tonight's (or this month's)...special events (to say the least), I used to be in the most exciting relationship ever. I don't know...Looooooong story...

    What is a good relationship defined by anyway?

 
 ?

 
 ?



  ?

?

?

 ?
 
 ?


  ?

All the above? 

   Jeeeeeez...instead of preparing (psychologically) for Christmas, I sit here and bitch about something I know nothing about.

OK, now let's get to the juicy stuff...as someone liked to say:

Google image

Kidzilla and I were in the hospital for 2 days cause my adorable little monster decided it was the time of the year when pneumonia was trendy...
 Following this "wonderful" experience, there were two weeks of house imprisonment with the one and only Kidzilla.
   He wasn't allowed to leave the house and so, neither was I. Had to work from home cause my nanny stood me up. Realized this was my dream job...until my kid ruined it for me.  
Listen here: you cannot work from home if you have kids in the house.  At least I couldn't. 

     My kid loves to talk and, since mom was home with him, he felt the constant need to communicate. Despite my efforts to explain that mom had to work until 6 and the numerous activities I tried to involve him in, he would come talk to me every 5 minutes just about anything.
  "Mama, do you think Superman is faster than Spiderman?"
5 minutes later...
 "Mama do you know the names of the characters from Lego Chima? No? Would you like to? "
Another 5 minutes later... 
 "Mama do you like how I colored the letters here?"
6 minutes later...
"Mama, I'm thirsty".
   
   It's quite adorable now that I think of it, but at the time, I just wanted to send him to his room and lock him there, if I had any doors. As if work wasn't stressful enough...

 
With all the craziness around, I almost didn't realize my favorite holiday was coming...This will be my very first Christmas in the house that is eating more money than a slot-machine. 

   And unlike other Christmases, this year I will do something really..."special": work. From home, of course, but this time, in the company of my other KID...the bearded 20 something. 
    Haven't started Christmas shopping yet... but I started decorating. Some Christmas lights here, some tinsel there ...My son's room however looks like Amsterdam's Red Light District. This is how he wanted.

   Haven't got a tree yet, cause a few years ago, I bought the tree too early and just before Christmas, it was already gone...dead. So I had to buy another one. Killed 2 trees in one season. Greenpeace surely has me on a black list or something.

    Besides working  (Jesus Christ will surely get me one day...again), another first on this Christmas is the fact that I will have to share my child with...the dark side. His father, that is. 
    
    One of the tragedies in a life of a separated couple: sharing their child. And it's even worse when it comes to holidays. This year Christmas is on me. 
   
    I was thinking the other day that I couldn't wait for him to be old enough to decide what to do on holidays.  Hopefully he will choose spending time with friends and stand us up.  
Ok, that's lie. I secretly hope he will choose me. Good old mom...Maybe I'll play the I TOOK CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE SICK, I CARRIED YOU FOR 9 MONTHS card..
  
    But this is life right? Or do we tell ourselves that to go through tough situations more easily? We'll live and see...

   Just 15 days til Christmas ...Countdown has begun...

  
    

Monster child...I mean angel

     Ok, ok the waiting is over for me. The KID was nice enough to let me write tonight. I had to sell my body for that and, trust me, he'll come collect later...if not sooner. Especially because our days and nights together might be numbered. Oh, too long of a story to start now.

   This post is actually to complain about my monster child. But then again, is there any other kind? Oh yeah, that's right: they're little angels.

 Well...Kidzilla will turn 6 in about 2 and a half months. Oh God..am I really that old? Where have I been all this time? 6???Really???

Nowadays it's the Cold War again between me and Bob because we have different views on how to raise our child.

But I guess it's like that with all separated parents, right? 

I am the bad guy now cause I don't let Kidzilla act like the KING OF THE WORLD and I dare say NO to the little prince of darkness. I say NO so that he wouldn't become Satan later.

 When exactly and who taught toddlers that it was ok to ask why when mom says no???

Me: Baby, go clean your room please.

Kidzilla: Will you come help?

Me: No.

Kidzilla: Why?

Kidzilla: can I have one more chocolate?

Me:  No.

Kidzilla: but whyyyyyyy? (with tears and all...)

* This one is entirely my fault and I explain:

he loves chocolate so, since it's the only thing that ever "touches" him, whenever he's punished, I remove chocolate from his menu. And, to exploit this ever better, about a year ago I told him that it was really hard to live without chocolate and I, for one, couldn't do it.

It was really funny once when he was trying to convince a friend's kid who was 1 year younger of this same theory.

Kidzilla: Can I have one more juice?

Me: No.

Kidzilla: But why? Dad gives me as many as I want. 

Me: Of course he does.

Me: Get ready for shower.

Kidzilla: But I'm tired.

Me: It'll be a quick shower; you need to take one.

Kidzilla: Why?

 You know what's even worse?? When he asks me WHY once more right after I explained.

     Most of the times I just wanna say: 

                             BECAUSE I SAID SO! 

But I've only said that once or twice in his life and only cause I had run out of arguments.

                           

                               

  And now we get to the KID's favorite time of the day: Kidzilla's dinner. Or lunch.

Why? Cause, if Kidzilla doesn't like the food he is served, well...he'll take about an hour and a half to eat. Not kidding!

Kidzilla doesn't like food unless it's made of potatoes, soup must not contain any visible vegetables, meat can't be anything else but chicken or turkey...And the list can go on until you realize you don't really want kids.

     As I said, I talk to my son about anything. And ever since there were just the 2 of us left, I tried to teach him that me and him were a team. 

    So, I encouraged him to talk to me about everything. Which he does...During his dinner...or lunch...or when he's in the toilet...or when I'm trying to get 10 more minutes of sleep..

This is what drives the KID crazy. Cause, unlike him, I seem to have a lot of patience. Me!!!

I don't know where that comes from; I guess it's either patience or feeding him like this:

    I signed Kidzilla up for football lessons last week and he is really excited. I am hoping he will burn some of the energy he's got, enough to exhaust even a race horse. There he is, in action (white t-shirt, dark pants):

 Oh, I almost forgot. One more thing that Kidzilla enjoys is drawing and coloring. It doesn't mean he's good at it. No, I am not a mean mom, and you'll see why.
  Yesterday evening I had this crazy idea of drawing each other: Kidzilla drew me and the KID, I drew Kidzilla and the KID drew Kidzilla as well. Actually we made each other's portraits. Take a look and, before you judge (laugh, I mean), remember that we must encourage our kids:

Yap, you may have guessed it : it's me!

You recognized the KID by the beard, of course

 

Kidzilla, drawn by the KID ..with pink hair (cause Kidzilla hates pink)

own creation - hope my child won't hate me later

Patience, my dear Watson...