November 1, 2015

HOME ALONE

This is for all the mothers in the world who ever had to let their children go anywhere without them, hear my cry.
My baby left me this Saturday for the first time in almost 7 years to go on a trip with kids from school for a week.
How do I cope with this? 
Hoooooooooooooooooow????


How do I stop making all kind of scenarios in my head?
  Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow? 



OK..so let's try to take it easy.
#1 - PANIIIIIIIIIIIC!!!

Now seriously...
                
        #1.1 - Donde esta the train station?

   We get there first. It's damn cold and the teacher and the other kids arrive at the last minute. We wait for about 50 minutes staring at the train that's already there.
 Finally...everyone's here. Wait! Where's the rest of the gang? There are only 4 kids. Ok..ok...everything's cool. 
  The less, the better, cause this way, there's a higher chance for the two teachers not to lose mine somewhere.

We get on the train and I start hugging Kidzilla and giving him lots of kissy kissy as if he was going to war.
              
             #2 - say good bye
     I'm kicked out of the train at the last minute, but not before I see the other 4 monster kids taking out their IPads.          OMG! Kidzilla hasn't got one cause...well...duuuuhhh...he's going on a trip to the mountains for fun outdoor activities, not to Apple camp.

   I get off and immediately start crying. Darth looks at me as if I were a freak of nature, but I can see he's about to cry too. Pussy
   We take a last look at Kidzilla just before the train starts moving and...there he goes. Yes! Now I can cry in peace...

            
      #3 - come back to an empty house
   First thing...I sit on the couch and wonder when would be a good time to call him. It's only been 30 minutes since he left. Should I call him already? 
   Yes. So I dial...he's fine. He likes the train. 
Ok. Let's calm down and maybe wait another 30 minutes before I call again.
            
         #4 - how long til I call again? 
     Oh, thank God! Or Big Bang...before he gets there, we talk a few times. His phone battery will be dead in no time. He's the youngest in the group and the mean kids played with their tablets all the way there; "stupid" me, I only got him some comic books. 
  Now they're waiting for some means of transportation to take them to the hotel.
        That's right...they're staying in a 4* hotel with a nice indoor pool, jacuzzi, sauna, etc.
   In my era, on this kind of school trips the kids slept in shared dorms for up to 10 people; showers were somewhere outside and so were the toilets. But this was 100 years ago...

           #5 - my baby's crying
OMG! OMG! in the evening he calls crying cause the mean kids are not playing with him. And Darth had this brilliant idea -  
        to tell him that, if he doesn't like it there, he's gonna go get him back. Yeah...I'd like to see that...


So now, my kid wants to come home. 
   I'm trying not to cry too and I'm one step away from telling him to punch that annoying kid - cause there's one in particular who's picking on him - in the face. Can I do that?? I'd like to see him do this :

   He's finally going to sleep and I try to reassure him explaining that it's normal for kids to act like that when they don't know each other.
     Damn, adults do the same and, when under a lot of ..."stress", they have sex on the first date. 
Maybe he's a little young for this, so I give him the "tomorrow will be better, try to have fun, I love you very much and you will like it there" speech instead.
  
The truth is that all I can think of is...one of the following:


- he goes out on the hotel terrace, leans and falls
- he cries all night and has a nervous breakdown
- they go for a walk on the mountain and he falls
- he touches some animal and has a horrible allergy and gets to the hospital...and I'm not there
- he gets beaten up or he beats up a kid...come to think of it, beating a kid may not be such a bad scenario
- the teacher loses sight of him and he gets hit by a car

....and another hundred scenarios worth of a FINAL DESTINATION sequel...


Day 2 - I did not move from my living room couch
not very comfortable

nor did I get any sleep. 

I had my phone close by just in case Kidzilla calls. 
I have a horrible headache and I don't know how I'm gonna get through the week. 
   Oh my God! what's wrong with me? This is something that all parents dream of, right? Having their kids away for a whole week...Maybe not single mothers...
    Yep, something must be wrong with me...I'M A CRAZY PARANOID MOTHER!  5 more days to go...